After conversations with friends who express themselves creatively through modeling, cosplay, gaming on Twitch, Youtube, and other visual media, as well as friends who are working in more adult-focused media who I have met and talked with through the @yourebeyond project, I wrote this speaking to myself and to you my friends:
Things to say out loud, often: (I will gladly remind you of this anytime, please prompt me via a message)
“My time is precious. My inner character, body and image is unique and radiant even when others condemn me. I am valuable.”
Many people like myself can hear this said, but believing the good and the truth is hard. Studies show that it takes many more positive words to heal the negative words spoken to us.
When you are online: Consider the urgency and importance of each task. Perhaps not every email or message needs to be answered immediately.
Ask: Can this wait? Remember it is ok to not reply to every compliment and especially every unkind message.
Receiving lots of compliments? And the occasional mean one?
Remember: Comments do not determine your worth. Neither praise nor hate defines you.
When others are critical, ask yourself is this true? Is this a person I should listen to based on trust and good character? Are they being loving? Sometimes people who love us can hurt us the most by their insensitive words, but sometimes the same people can speak powerful words of truth into our lives. Be open to hear from those you know can be trusted.
When working out how to manage your time at work and in meetings with clients: Prioritize relationship. Many goals are achieved through healthy ongoing professional relationships, so check that the people you’re working with are reliable and credible, and then develop the working relationship to achieve both parties’ goals.
Ask: Can I trust this person? And: How can I communicate my goals and requirements?
When you’re feeling stressed: Slow down and find moments to do what helps you relax, meditating on the good, letting go of the bad. Seek out some down time, when the phone is tucked away, out of mind, when the buzz of the day fades away with the sunset or a glass of wine or a hot bath.
Ask: What are my stress triggers? Then, don’t avoid stress, as Kelly McGonigal speaks about in her TED talk, we can all learn how to make stress work for us.
Use your beauty for good: Be the person who is known for encouraging others. If this doesn’t come naturally, start small, you may be surprized how your attitude changes as you speak kind and sincere words even if people don’t seem to notice.
Instead of just “liking” or “hearting” someone, tell them in person or on the phone you love them or something you appreciate about them.
So, friends, please know you are beautiful just the way you are.
People may or may not think you are gorgeous, yet you were gorgeous even before anyone said “you look amazing in that”, your beauty is who you are. You are beautiful, you, just being you.